


I am at your side

by Vibratingbones (Nhadel)



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Other, argument
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:35:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29826438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nhadel/pseuds/Vibratingbones
Summary: As her maid, it is your duty to report informations to Lady Galadriel, even if they might break her...
Relationships: Celeborn/Galadriel | Artanis, Finrod Felagund | Findaráto & Galadriel | Artanis, Finrod Felagund | Findaráto & Reader, Galadriel | Artanis & Reader, Galadriel | Artanis/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	I am at your side

**First Age**

It was such a beautiful morning. Autumn offered its shimmering colors, red and golden leaves contrasted with the whiteness of the early frost on the grass.

You were standing at a window on the Menegroth’s Palace, taking some moments to appreciate the beautiful landscape of Beleriand before going back to your work.

You were Lady Galadriel's maid, the one who organised everything around her so she wouldn’t be interrupted in her duties by something trivial. You were at her service to anticipate every need she might have and to provide a solution to any problem she might encounter in her everyday life.

Needless to say you were constantly by her side and a great trust had built between the two of you over time, so much that you were introduced to the other members of the court as not a mere servant, but her lady companion. You take great pride in this and in your abilities in your work.

Your gaze was fixed at the sunrise, progressively illuminating all the realm of their Royal Highnesses Thingol and Melian.

With your eyes closed and your arms opened, you take a deep breath of the early fresh air and let the mist caress the skin on your face as it fades away before the sun.

You were glad to be able to move here with your Lady. Due to your trade you didn't really have the occasion to travel around the world. You were delighted to hear Lady Galadriel required your presence during her residency in Menegroth, and you were determined to make this stay the most refined experience for the both of you. After all, not everyone got the chance to learn from Queen Melian in her own city.

It had been almost a year since you both moved to Menegroth, and though at first, Lady Galadriel dedicated all her soul to her duty, you could say that her beautiful enthusiasm had slightly... faded.

She still assumed her charges with great rigor, but you could see that her heart was not there anymore.

It wasn’t your place nor your right to ask her about it ; if she wanted you to know she would have already told you. You knew the best way to help her out was to do your job properly and you were determined to do it impeccably.

Luck was on your side as the royal couple had to gone to inspect the Girdle of Melian, the work schedule of your Lady is reduced. She could take a day off to enjoy all Doriath had to offer and relieve some stress.

When you opened your eyes again, Arien’s ship illuminated the realm before you and her light slowly reached the Palace. It was now time to get to your work. As you walked away from the stone arches to the stairs, you started thinking about the morning of Lady Galadriel. A hot cup of tea in a cold and relaxing bath would be perfect to start her day.

You walked down the stairs and corridors, your feet following the rhythm of an old melody the King Finrod once taught you.

He was always nice to you when you were young, and even as a king he seemed so approachable and open minded. But still, he was an odd character. He always seemed pleased, whenever the circumstances were and you find his...interest for mankind misplaced. You didn't hate humans, far from that, but the less they interfered with the Elves, the better the both species lived. Everything was fine in the royal family before Princess Lúthien met that man... Berin? Beran? It didn’t matter. King Finrod also seemed to have him in sympathy and it worried your Lady, but there was nothing to do about it. You just hoped her older brother was alright, with his oath to accomplish.

You finally reached the kitchens. Everyone has already started their work and you had to prepare the light meal while trying to avoid all the agitation. You almost got hit by a plate on your head, but a quite fair waiter flew to your rescue and you avoided a catastrophe... But not a sideslip on the floor... With some condiments... With the waiter.

“Dear Lord! I am sorry Miss, this platter is truly heavy and I couldn’t concentrate on obstacles on my way, I should have paid more at—”

You stopped him with a gesture of the hand. Obviously he was new on the job. It was pointless to start a scene in front of his colleagues. Even if his clumsiness had just ruined your dress.

“It's alright, boy. Just remember to watch where you’re going and always distribute the weight correctly,” you said, rearranging what was left of the items on the silver surface to illustrate your words. He watched how your experienced hands moved to learn from them.

“Here! Just like that,” you added with a comforting smile. He smiled back at you with embarrassment and gratitude before his boss called him back to hearth with vehemence and he flew away to his task. You watched with amusement until his superior glared at you, clearly inviting you to get back on track.

While you were gathering some fresh fruits in a cup, you couldn’t help but to observe her methods to lead the brigade of servers, and Valar... You thought you were hard with your subordinates, but you have room for improvement! Maybe you should borrow some of her methods... No, your subordinates would hate you for sure.

The poor boy, thanks to this little misadventure, had caught her attention and she was ready to scold him at every minute mistakes he could make, barking at him in front of all their teammates, who had the decency to mind their own business. You guessed that perfection and adamancy are prices to pay to be able to serve the greatest people in the world. It reminded you of your own debut as a maid—how many times had you had to keep your jaws crushed closed in front of your superiors? Too many for your taste, to be honest, but you were the boss now, thanks to the discipline and the abnegation they taught you. It was hard, but it was worth enduring.

Before you left, you glanced back at the servant and the barking butler. She was still harsh but demonstrated more efficient ways to navigate through a crowd with weight. You smiled to yourself. He would be alright. He just needed time to gain some experience. And you, you missed time to change your clothes. Bad luck ; it would have to wait. You had already run out of time, and picked up the pace.

On your way, an ellon between some columns caught your eye. The Lord Celeborn. You had already noticed Lady Galadriel’s interest in him, and his in her. Or rather, you had "unintentionally" overheard a conversation where he admitted it to one of his friends. And you were maybe, or maybe not, the reason behind some of their encounters in some strangely convenient, quiet, intimate places.

He surely didn't suspect a thing from you ; you know how to make yourself transparent next to your Lady. But you were almost certain that she knew.

She just let you plot. Surely it amused her : she once told you that your sneaky side reminds her of her cousins, some redheaded twins. She went quiet when you implied you didn't have the pleasure to know them. You didn't try to know more.

You would have loved to learn one or two other things about Celeborn, but you were already late and in a messy state. How unlike you!

While you traveled through an unreasonably huge room near the entrance, you heard the sound of a massive wood door slamming against a wall and a bunch of rushed footsteps. You overheard some hushed and stressed voices among the clatters of armor. Had something happened to their Highnesses? If so, your duty would be to inform your Lady, so she can advise for the future.

As you got closer to the entrance, some other attendants and companions of the nobility were already gathered with some guards, undeniably those who have just returned. The moment you reached out to them, the leader of the patrollers was silencing the little crowd, a broad smile on his face.

"Peace! Peace, please. The divine providence has given us back our Princess!"

Murmurs and prayers of relief browsed the assembly. At last, the Princess was finally home. You also felt relieved. The eight of months of worries and sorrow will finally be removed from the shoulders of their Royals Highness!

The captain hushed the group again, with a more concerned expression.

"You! Go find the healers and conduct them to the Heir and her human consort. They have been injured during their journey. You! Take a horse and gallop to the King and Queen, hurry!"

The Princess was injured? Assuredly it's not a pleasant thing, but she was alive and with her loved one. The House of Thingol was now safe… So why did you feel a pressure in your throat? When you looked at the captain, you felt a deep unease, as if he would add something terrible. You waited, holding your breath.

He seemed to seek someone in the crowd with a concerned gaze.

“Is someone here under the order of the Lady Galadriel?” he asked.

Valar… Here we go. You cleared your throat and responded with a confident voice.

“I am!”

He spotted you in the multitude and started approaching you while the others followed his orders. You straightened your back, to give an assurance. He guided you away from the other and you asked under your breath.

“What’s the matter?”

He looked at you dead in the eye and replied.

“Miss, it is about her brother. Something happened to King Finrod…”

* * *

You felt sick, your feet guided you through some corridors to Lady Galadriel's apartments but your vision was blurred. You couldn't stop thinking, so much information swirled in every direction in your head…

The Princess, the silmaril, the tea, your dress, your Lady, the oath... King Finrod… You felt the nausea rising in your throat.

How?

Why?

Your head spun so much you had to take support on the wall, the heart right behind your lips. How were you going to announce this to Lady Galadriel ? Her dear brother. They didn't deserve this fate.

The rest of the court has been warned the Princess was back, but the truth about King Finrod was confidential, at least for now. You distinguished yourself from the opulent cheerfulness and felicity with your pale face. All the songs of gladness couldn't reach your heart, closed by the truth.

Now, stay focused! You had to inform your Lady. What kind of aid faints while giving news to their master, as bad and terrible as the news could be?

As you get back some senses, a light tune reached your ears. The crowd in the Palace was singing in joy and among every melody in existence, they have chosen the one Finrod taught you. What were the odds…

You finally reached Lady Galadriel’s door, heavy hearted. As your hand was about to knock, all the past few weeks with her instantly flashed in your mind. Her odd affliction who grew up so suddenly, tainted her fëa. And now this…

You took several seconds and a deep breath before knocking. You waited again for several seconds before hearing a response.

“Come in.”

Her voice was firm as always, but a little muffled. You swallowed and entered the room with the most neutral face you could feign. You definitely couldn’t step in with a huge smile like nothing happened, but you couldn’t alarm her either.

You found her in a chair by her balcony. You were glad it was oriented to the waterfalls of the mountains and not to the inner garden were everyone was singing, at least you had some privacy.

“Good morning, milady. How is the view today?” you asked, walking to a table to serve the tea.

Okay, you surely had more inspired lines before.

“It’s nothing new,” she replied.

She, also, had better comebacks.

You observed her while you brought a cup. Seated on a low chair, she silently observed the horizon. Her complexion reflected her exhaustion, with darker tones under the eyes and waxen cheeks. She hugged herself, and you mentally traced the circuit of veins under the skin of her arms that were now visible.

The blond of her hair was now dull, you remembered from the last time you groomed her mane: the comb emerged with many wires of fallen hair, which is highly unusual for elves. You tried to inform her casually, and she then refused to be curled by someone else than herself since.

Your throat twisted more at the sight of the elleth who once was an unwavering lady.

Even thought she was able to disguise her state under a mask of dignity and fool everyone else, inside her room, in the intimacy of her private cocoon, you could only watch the diminishment of her health. Day by day you saw her fading with a constricting feeling of helplessness.

“Are you well?”

Her question brought you back to reality, you realised you were standing next to her, silently staring at her while she waited for her cup. Now that her face was turned to you, you could see the fatigue in her eyes…

"I'm sorry, my Lady. I'm fine… " you answered, "... While you savour your tea, I will prepare you a bath for you to relax."

You desperately needed time to clear your mind and prepare yourself. This was also her last peaceful morning before long, she deserved some time for herself before you broke her heart definitively…

"Wait."

You stopped dead on your tracks.

"My Lady?"

"Stay with me, I would enjoy some company this morning."

Without a word you filled an empty teacup and took a chair beside her.

"Thank you. My tea always tastes better when I drink it with a friend," she added with a sweet but low voice.

You gently clattered your cups and admired the colours of the waterfalls under the morning sun. You just took a cup for the act, to please her, but felt like you could never take a sip of it. While you both remained silent, you could sometimes hear the sound of footsteps rushing towards the hall with some giggles. You played nervously with your goblet, knowing that you couldn't keep the truth from her eternally, that you should tell her now before she hears it from someone else in a far less convenient situation…

But you couldn’t…

You were out of words.

Everytime you tried to tell her, your words got stuck in your throat or disappeared the moment they reached your mouth.

How could you possibly tell her that her beloved brother, the most gentle soul you had come across in your millennium life, was dead? His body was buried so far away, she wouldn't be able to mourn him at his sepulchre…

You looked at her, to engrave her vision in your memory. She looked so frail at this moment, would the news finish her off? Would she lose her will and seek to join him?

And you? Would you be able to endure it? To lose her?

After the death of the brother, could you handle the loss of your Lady?

Your...

oh...

so dear...

Lady

Your sunshine.

A gentle touch on your cheek wakes you up from your trance.

Your gaze was still fixed on Lady Galadriel, as she brushed off a single tear rolling out of your eye.

“Talk to me, my dear. What happened? You are usually so jovial, but your fëa is submerged by shadows today.”

You couldn't help but to rest your head in the warmth of her palm.

You were deplorable, she was the one who lost her brother and she was the one comforting you. You clenched your jaws and removed all your tears with the back of your hand.

“My lady, I am sorry to present myself to you in such an inappropriate state.”

You take a deep breath as you rose up from your seat to gather yourself.

“My Lady, I do have something to tell you!”

Your own words seemed to strangle yourself, but you were able to keep an assured voice.

“This morning, her Highness Princess Lúthien came back with her human consort to the court, safe and sound."

You were about to continue when you saw her cower. Somehow, this information seemed to trouble her immensely.

You watched her shudder, unsure how to continue this conversation now.

And then…

It just clicked in your mind. Your eyes widened, dead silent before your sudden realisation.

"You knew..."

* * *

She looked up at you, with a silent pleading in her eyes.

You didn't want to believe it, but it would explain everything.

"You knew… He would never return, and you just let him go."

"I did not just let him go!" she replied with a voice filled with anger.

She let a frustrated sigh escape but remained calm.

"I did know what was going to happen. I foresaw it the day he described to me his first encounter with mankind."

You just sat in silence on your chair again. You didn't want to interrupt her.

"I warned him his passion towards mortals will harm him, but he just stayed still with the most elated smile I have ever seen…"

She looked right in front of her, reviving the instant, as if King Finrod was really there with you.

"He just said: Let it be, sister, for if it is my destiny to die at the side of men, I will take it as an honor.He was so confident, so determined. I knew I wouldn't be able to make him reconsider… I'm sure you know it is impossible to say no to him when he makes up his mind...”

Oh yes, you knew.

“It happened such a long time ago… I even convinced myself my vision was nothing more than a projection of my fears and not a fragment of the future. I even.... managed to forget about it. Until he announced to me about his oath.”

Her voice cracked while speaking of this... accursed oath. You started to sense the ire slowly rising in your veins. Why did she had to suffer all of this ?

"Everything came back in my mind with such force. I tried to convince him one last time, but… I knew I wouldn’t succeed. For his destiny was already decided… his death was for a greater good that I can't see yet."

She stopped, out of breath, as if speaking required too much energy.

You both jumped out of your skins when some younglings started to bange at all the doors of the corridors while gigglings and yelling about the return of the Princess. It looks like celebrations revealed the most silly side of the younger generation.

Lady Galadriel stood up to regain a certain composure, her gaze at the horizon.

A strange silence between you hung up in the air after the laughs of the younglings, deafening and stifling but it was still more comfortable than the reality of your situation. You had the childish thought that if you didn’t speak about it then it wouldn’t be real anymore, that you could open the door of her apartment and King Finrod would have been behind it the whole time, just wanting to surprise his cherished little sister.

Alas, reality has rarely resorted to such niceties. Happy endings are for old melodies.

Surely this is why we sing them…

"It pains me greatly… Never again I will wake up to his harp morning practice. He loved so much to see his city awakening under his notes. Never again he will come to me to aid him with his accounting." She chuckled a little. "He hated it!"

"I know! I spent several sleepless nights helping you because he couldn't help falling asleep while working on it," You added while joining her side on the balcony."I am sure we both know the economic state of his kingdom better than himself!"

You both laughed at those memories.

It felt right, it felt… liberating.

But she quickly became silent again.

"When we were children, he promised me he would guide me to the altar the day of my wedding if our parents couldn't… He already had his costume ready, way before I found my soulmate."

Indeed, it sounded just like him.

"Now I would have to descend the aisle alone. It is the only promise he won't be able to accomplish."

Tears fell down silently from her exhausted face.

You were sympathetic to her but you couldn’t fully understand the depth of her pain and distress for none of your loved ones had died. You could only imagine what she was going through and offer her warmth and little comfort.

"It pains me so much it is killing me. I can feel it, deep in my flesh. It started..."

“... when your brother died,” you guessed.

“Yes. The very moment he passed away, his voice reached me. I heard his wail in my sleep and his last scream keeped me awake for the rest of the night until you came in the morning.”

You remembered. You found her sitting on her bed oddly straight and tense. Her gaze was fixed in front of her, but seemed lost to the void. Her ailment started to appear the day after. You scolded yourself for not investigating more and accepted her excuse of a "bad night," even if she wasn't properly lying.

To be awakened by a loved one's final call must be the most dreadful experience.

"I still hear him, you know? Everytime I close my eyes, his pleading haunts me. Every night, his cries reach me." Her voice began to be more erratic and she began trembling again. "I see him in every shadow, I catch his silhouette in the corner of my eyes but he is never here when I turn my head."

She was fully crying now. You had never seen her like that, in such distress.

So you overstepped your position and took her in your arms. You held her in a tight embrace to support her, for she could not fall apart.

"Please my Lady, calm down."

She did not respond at first, but you finally felt her arms around you, pulling you even closer as if you were her last grasp on reality at this instant.

"I see him everywhere. I know he is not here, but I can not let him go…"

You stayed silent again, while wanting to say something. Anything. But words are vain in those moments. Only time is able to cure such wounds… If they could heal at all. So you just held her tighter and let her head rested on your shoulder while feeling her tears soaked through your dress. She buried her face in your neck.

You weren’t sure how much time passed that way and you just started to cradle her gently. You were certain it was inappropriate but you feel like if you didn’t have to follow the protocol and the etiquette for once, it would be now!

You listened to her, made her sure you were attentive to her pain and offered the warmth of a presence.

However, you were not prepared for what she was saying next.

"I am sorry…"

Her voice was so low and hoarse, you were not sure of what you had just heard.

"For what, my Lady?"

"For my lack of bravery… I have to be strong for my people, particularly now, with the chaos that is to come. But… I feel so helpless! I can't clearly see the threat which rises upon us, I have not been able to prevent the death of my brothers…”

You moved away from her, incredulous, and locked your eyes to hers.

“You are brave! Braver than most of us, many could not do your duty as well as you did under mourning. Don’t lose faith in yourself. We are all with you… I am with you.”

You took a step back and knelt before her. She watched you quietly in confusion.

“I wish to reassert my loyalty and take an oath of allegiance to my Lady.”

Head bowed and right hand closed over your heart, you started to declaim your vows with an assured voice.

“Here, I swear on my head I shall faithfully perform my duties to the best of my abilities. I shall never embarrass or bring shame over the House of my Lady and her Blood...”

You raised your head to see her face with a sight full of determination.

“But above all, I swear to follow you everywhere, in Light as in Darkness, in Arda as in oblivion, in honour as in infamy. To be faithful to your Person and your Name, and to never leave your sight at any given time during our earthly lives and beyond death.”

Galadriel listened to you respectfully, her tears drying while she regained her composure.

She silently gave you her hand, which you kissed and brought to your forehead almost religiously.

“Rise up.”

You obeyed, now determined to protect and serve your Lady at all cost and your instinct told you that it will happen sooner than you could imagine.

She observed you quietly as she was taking the measure of your words. She placed a chaste kiss on your lips to seal your vows.

You secretly wished the kiss was more lingering, but you kept it for yourself.

“Thank you,” she responded.

Her breath was still short, but her voice had regained her assertiveness.

You both turned back to the waterfalls, the songs slowly reached your ears again now that the emotion started to come down.

In fact, everything seemed more clear now. You felt lighter, as if a blindfold had been removed from your eyes as the fog dissipated under the rays of a morning sun.

You had now faith in the future.

At the side of your Lady, together, you felt confident you could face anything destiny had prepared for you.

**Author's Note:**

> Specials thanks to @arofili on tumblr for their help during the entire process ! ❤️  
> This is my first fic, constructive criticism will be much appreciated :)


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